Melancholy and the Infinite Hopefulness

It's been a little while since I last wrote. I've definitely been thinking about it, but I have had some good reasons for not having time. Here's what's been going on behind the scenes of With Bear Hands Enterprises, LLC:

First, I recently took a business class for nine weeks at the Knoxville Entrepreneur Center, and while it was only one night a week, I went all out meeting with people to interview and even shadowed a company throughout the duration of the class. The time invested was so well worth it. 

It Don't Come Easy by Beth Meadows, inspired by how being an artist and trying to become a business person feels like domesticating a wild animal. Everything will be all right, majestic bear.

It Don't Come Easy by Beth Meadows, inspired by how being an artist and trying to become a business person feels like domesticating a wild animal. Everything will be all right, majestic bear.

I have also been looking for a house, and if you've ever gone down that road, you know it's super time-consuming. Fun, frustrating, lots to learn quickly.

The business class was wonderful. I loved the group of people in the class. I loved having the steps of planning a business spelled out for me in a simple way. I loved the motivation it gave me to work through some overwhelming and challenging issues that have plagued me for years. 

I went into it with a particular idea that I have not fully abandoned, but I have let go of for now.

That was the lesson a lot of us learned- running a business is all-consuming so it should be something you are fully invested in and fully passionate about. That may seem like a no-brainer, but it's really something you have to come to at your own pace.

This led me to a valuable truth I have always known but push away every once in a while out of fear, frustration, and a desire to be a sensible human being: I am an artist at heart and it's what I want to do more than anything. It's how I want to make a living.

(I cannot tell you how hard it is for me to even say that still. Ahhhh...)

But I have never fully put my all into it, nor have I had a very good plan to go by everyday. I have always had goals but not broken them down into smaller, more manageable steps. This class really helped me with that and I'm thankful. 

I see the small steps more clearly and am slowly but surely moving up, again, for what seems like the hundredth time. And I know more clearly where I'm headed and why, which is probably the most important aspect of running any business. Without the why, you can't fight the resistance that you will inevitably face over and over again*.

All this is to say, I highly recommend taking a class like this.

If you're anything like me, you're always dreaming of things you want to do with your time and in your career. We keep those thoughts in our head because if we were to start pursuing most of them, we'd realize they are unrealistic or not really what we want to do deep down. Taking a business class, or any class of interest, helps point you to where your heart wants to be in a shorter period of time, and that's not always something people want to realize so quickly.

In a lot of ways, the class for me was a little painful, stirring up some things I want to begin dealing with. So I started going to a counselor before the class ended.

As honest a person as I am, I am so easily distracted by anything and everything, and wonder if I am subconsciously, but intentionally, allowing myself to put off the things my heart really wants. I need a lot of help in this area, and so I'm taking it from any place I can at the moment.

Which leads me to the second thing I have been doing with my time: house hunting. 

I was actually so close to sealing the deal on a house a few days ago, but after much deliberation, I walked away.

In many ways, that house was my "dream" house. Honestly, I've had dreams about living spaces for years now and this house matched those visions in my head more than anything else I looked at. I really wanted it to work. 

Dreams are really hard because they aren't always realistic. It doesn't mean we shouldn't keep dreaming, but I've learned I need to let myself pursue something enough to let the infatuation subside and the reality to show through. I need to allow those two worlds to meet more often in my life. It's really hard, but I have hope it will get easier.

Now that the business class is over, I hope to start writing again. I'm also taking one day out of the week to work on all things art. Today is that day, so it's time to get moving. I can't wait to share what I've been working on soon...

* a constant mantra of Michael Hyatt